3 Ways to Save Time (But Please Don’t)

We can all use more time in our lives, can’t we?  Between school, potentially work, writing, and who knows what other activities, life is busy.  Fortunately, there are ways you can find more time without having to cut anything major out of your schedule.

  1. Stop eating.  You’ll gain approximately an hour or two per day this way (more if you cook your own meals).  True, it’s terrible for your health, and your thinking ability is going to suffer for it.  But hey, if what you’re doing instead is more important.  As an added bonus, this guarantees that you won’t get crumbs in your computer keyboard.
  2. Give up personal hygiene.  Are you the type to take thirty-minute showers because that’s where you get all your writing inspiration or other cool thoughts?  Consider stopping this habit.  That’s one short reading assignment a day you just gained.  Just don’t forget to stock up on deodorant first, please.
  3. Stop sleeping.  Yes, you’ll have beta-amyloid build-up in your brain that might be related to dementia later in life (source: my intro psych course). You won’t learn or remember anything very well (or even at all depending on how much you cut,) thereby making your all-night exam study session a pointless waste of time.  Plus, your general ability to handle life in a coherent manner will drop – but that’s another six or more hours a day you can get work done.  What are you waiting for? 

Okay, moving on to a totally serious paragraph for a moment.  The problem is, your brain needs time to decompress once in a while — or at least mine does.  Squeezing productivity out of literally every second of the day isn’t that healthy either physically or mentally.  Not to mention, stuff like taking care of yourself and giving your brain a chance to recharge IS productive. If you’re running your tail off every spare second you have already, then it’s probably better to spend moments of seeming “downtime” doing nothing, and letting your brain just…rest.  You’ll do better on everything if you do.

As usual, any thoughts are welcome in the comments!

4 thoughts on “3 Ways to Save Time (But Please Don’t)”

  1. Another way to save time: Stop hanging out with your friends. Why waste time chillin’ with the people who give you moral, emotional, and academic support when you should be stuffing facts into your head all by yourself?

    I’m actually very glad that “me time” is more important than it has been in the past. We all need time to unwind and assimilate input. Some quiet time, some chocolate, a good book, and a friend to discuss it with – how can life be better?

    Best of wishes to you and your college buddies as you move into the stressful end of the semester. Hang in there!

    1. Ooh, good point. Now that I think about it, getting adequate socialization is my weak point, out of those four…
      *Was legit going to eat some dark chocolate after this though*

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