I don\u2019t have anything fancy for New Year\u2019s (okay, being completely honest, I had other deadlines this week I worked on first and finished this with 10 minutes before the automatic email goes out XD), but if one of your resolutions is to be a greater ally to autistic people, perhaps this may be useful :).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly don\u2019t feel like a lot of intro is needed for this one. Started thinking about practical ways people at large could make the world a friendlier place for autists. It made a nice list. Disclaimer that this is just my perspective based on personal experience and what friends have complained about, not a comprehensive guide that covers everything relevant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#1: Remember that the way you experience the world isn\u2019t universal, even if many share it. I feel like the heart of a lot of problems for us, and a lot of seemingly harmless social interactions that can sting over time, goes back to people not really comprehending that other people may have genuinely quite different experiences than them. Just because most people don’t have problems with a specific indoor light level, for example, doesn\u2019t mean there aren\u2019t a minority who will find it physically painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#2: Give people space to get away for a bit if need be. For example, if you\u2019re hosting a party, let people know where they can find a quiet, non-social room if they start getting overwhelmed by the people and noise. When I went to a friendsgiving dinner a year or two with a lot of people in a small apartment, the hosts officially announced that the bedroom that served as the coat dump was also open to anyone who wanted to just sit in a corner when they got overstimulated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#3: Don\u2019t make light of serious questions. This is something that annoys me personally. Joking around and whatever is perfectly fine, but sometimes when I can\u2019t figure out if people are being serious or just joking and ask for a quick clarification, they either refuse to answer or actively make my question part of the banter like it wasn\u2019t meant to be serious. Don\u2019t do this to people, it\u2019s rude. If someone asks a question about context or how they\u2019re supposed to interpret someone\u2019s tone, just pause for ten seconds and give a straight answer, and everyone will be happier in the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#4: Seek out openly autistic people \/ sources when trying to learn about us. A lot of the info from big orgs like Autism Speaks is actually by\/for neurotypicals rather than actually focusing on our own experiences and what we want needs-wise, so even if you mean well, you can end up being hurtful if you just trust whatever sources you find on the first page of Google and start using that information seriously. Chris Bonello of Autistic Not Weird, and Matthew The #ActuallyAutistic Coach are two good community sources.
(Note that when I say ask the community, I\u2019m thinking public figures, advocates, online writing by autistic people, etc. While you can certainly ask about their experiences or whatever if they\u2019re fine with it, don\u2019t put the burden of educating you on all things autism on some random autistic friend who\u2019s just trying to leave their life in peace.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#5: Be open to other forms of communication besides spoken. There are multiple ways to get a point across besides using mouth words, so don\u2019t assume someone \u201ccan\u2019t communicate\u201d simply because they can\u2019t or don\u2019t want to have a spoken conversation specifically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#6: Don\u2019t make fun of people for harmless things, regardless of if you know they\u2019re autistic. Sometimes I\u2019ve heard the argument that \u201cI wouldn\u2019t make fun of someone for being autistic!\u201d but the person on the receiving end was harassed on other grounds like being \u201cweird\u201d or \u201cnerdy\u201d or \u201csocially inept,\u201d etc. Someone is exactly the same person whether they publicly label themselves autistic or not, so you are in fact making fun of autism if you think the traits are fair game in the absence of a supposed-to-be-legally-protected label. And also like, if they\u2019re not harming anyone, why should anyone<\/em> be made to feel like they can\u2019t be their natural self, regardless of neurotype?<\/p>\n\n\n\n