{"id":354,"date":"2023-04-01T20:55:17","date_gmt":"2023-04-02T02:55:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.writingforlife.net\/?p=354"},"modified":"2023-04-01T20:55:19","modified_gmt":"2023-04-02T02:55:19","slug":"thoughts-on-the-word-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.writingforlife.net\/index.php\/2023\/04\/01\/thoughts-on-the-word-normal\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts on the Word \u201cNormal\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This has come up frequently in the comments but I had yet to make a proper post about it for some reason, so I\u2019m remedying that now: I have problems with the word \u201cnormal\u201d in some contexts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you think about it, it\u2019s pretty common: we talk about normal people, \u201cunder normal circumstances,\u201d etc.&nbsp; Some of the time it\u2019s fine.&nbsp; If you nearly get kidnapped on the way to work for example, \u201c<em>that<\/em> wasn\u2019t a normal day!\u201d is probably a good descriptor.&nbsp; (At least, I <em>hope<\/em> that\u2019s not a normal day for you.&nbsp; I suppose it could be in some profession?)&nbsp; But when it comes to people, it tends to carry a moral implication whether we intend it to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, I\u2019m in a queerplatonic relationship, and it\u2019s easy to say \u201cas opposed to a normal relationship\u201d out of social habit without consciously meaning anything by it, since everyone generally has one type of partnership in mind that my explanation is often the out-lier from.&nbsp; But if you think about it, that has social implications &#8211; to call a romantic relationship \u201cnormal\u201d implies that a queerplatonic one is abnormal, and while on paper that word can be a factual statement about what the majority of people do, it contains a value judgement.&nbsp; A hierarchy is created where it\u2019s more acceptable to poke fun at one type of relationship (in this example) and\/or not take it seriously compared to the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s a denotation versus connotation thing.&nbsp; The denotation is the factual definition you\u2019ll find in the dictionary: if you ask Merriam-Webster, the word \u201cnormal\u201d means <em>\u201c<\/em><em>conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp; Basically what you think the majority does.&nbsp; While the connotation is the implication that people generally read into it.&nbsp; (I feel like there\u2019s an autism related conversation here, but that\u2019s not the point at the moment, so moving on\u2026.).&nbsp; When used to refer to people, using \u201cnormal\u201d to refer to one group implies that other groups are \u201cabnormal,\u201d and contributes to other-ing them and seeing them as having a problem, even if your conscious intent was just to indicate what the majority is\/does in a factual sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Other examples: saying \u201cnormal\u201d when you actually mean \u201ccis\u201d regarding gender.&nbsp; Writing off awful period cramps as not a big deal because \u201cthat\u2019s normal\u201d when just because it\u2019s <em>typical<\/em> to experience doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not a health problem that should be investigated\/treated.&nbsp; Or take autism as a non-LGBTQIA+ example.&nbsp; This one is a bit more complicated because it\u2019s a bit of a community in-joke to make fun of \u201cbeing normal\u201d and stuff, but if you\u2019re not part of the community, then using \u201cnormal\u201d as a synonym for neurotypical in a not-being-lighthearted way can be hurtful because it reinforces society\u2019s perception that there\u2019s something wrong and inferior with being autistic and that we need to find a \u201ccure.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In summary, basically I just want to bring to your awareness that you should think about the context when you use the word \u201cnormal.\u201d&nbsp; If you\u2019re using it to refer to people\u2019s identity, traits, or relationships, might it be making negative implications about certain groups that shouldn\u2019t be made, and subtly supporting harmful normativities such as the expectation that people cis, straight, neurotypical, allo, etc. as default?&nbsp; (I\u2019m assuming that you as the audience member have good intent and aren\u2019t <em>knowingly<\/em> trying to do this.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thoughts?&nbsp; Leave a comment!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This has come up frequently in the comments but I had yet to make a proper post about it for some reason, so I\u2019m remedying that now: I have problems with the word \u201cnormal\u201d in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":355,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,43,42,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-agender","category-aromanticism","category-asexuality","category-autism"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When used to refer to people, using the word &quot;normal\u201d to refer to one group implies that other groups are \u201cabnormal,\u201d and contributes to other-ing them and...\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Mia\"\/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.writingforlife.net\/index.php\/2023\/04\/01\/thoughts-on-the-word-normal\/\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 4.9.10\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Writing For Life - A resource for those who want to learn about asexuality, aromanticism, and autism.  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